July 6, 2017

A letter to my abang

Dear bang,

Now that you and your newly wed have safely entered the plane and are on the way to enter a new phase of your lives in UK, I finally have the time to sit down and recollect my thoughts after this whirlwind of a week in Malaysia. 

3 major events in a row from the Nikah (which mama and I did not cry at *sniff sniff*) to the Bride's side wedding reception to the Groom's side wedding reception is no easy task.

First of all, I want to say a big big congratulations to both you and Kak Syawal. I can see how happy you both are with each other and for that, i am so grateful. I truly wish nothing but a long-lasting and blissful marriage life ahead for both of you.

I'll admit, when i first found out that you wanted to get engaged last year, I was shocked and a little sad. But hey, i think a small part of you may have already knew that didn't you? It felt like I was about to lose a big brother... and not just any brother, but my big brother. I guess every little sister has an over-possessive defense mechanism build into them. Well, whatever you could call this feeling, I just didn't feel ready to lose my big brother yet.

But in the months that followed after the engagement and the events happening in my own life (read : final year of law degree), i finally learned to let some of the reluctance go. 

Landing in Malaysia just a little over a week ago, i barely had time to get over my tiredness (what is jet lag?) days just flew by in a flurry of wedding tasks and errands. But now that everything is done and dusted, you are a married man now, Bang. 

To be honest, I still can't believe sometimes that you are now married. (well, to be fair, it's only been a few days since the wedding so i can't help thinking that hehe). Occasionally i still get sad thinking how no matter what, things can never be the same as before again. (fine i may be slightly over-dramatic right now). But it's true, you will now have responsibilities to your new family and maybe we will never have another bro-sis dinner hangout session, or perhaps not as frequently anymore. I will miss and cherish all those times our family can just hang out with you as a bachelor. huhuhu

But life goes on, and change is a part of growing up.

Kak Syawal is lovely, she really is. (and i'm not just saying this because there is a high possibility that both of you may be reading this together at the same time). I hope that she will be a positive influence in your life and push you to became a better person than you already are. Although, the days the family spent with Kak Syawal was slightly limited. I think the past 3 days spent in PD was nice and most importantly, comfortable. Kak Syawal fitted in well and I look forward to the days where she will become more and more part of the family :) Also, being your number one victim of teasing/bullying (along with Danny too), i hope you won't tease Kak Syawal too hard. Trust me, it DOES GET ANNOYING AFTER A WHILE nanti Kak Syawal marah you baru tau!

I know i don't say this much, but love you loads bang. Always remember to be a good son to mama and a good husband to Kak Syawal. (Also, i expect a long post dedicated to me on my wedding day too muahahaha)

With love,
Your beautiful & slightly emotional adik :p

February 18, 2017


As swift as sand, passing through my fingers
Is time that runs, it does not linger

As people grow and join the race
I’m still learning to find my own place

I see their passion in what they do
But for me, that simply isn’t true

And perhaps that is what, I fear the most
The future that’s coming all too close

I have so many wishes, hopes and dreams
But in nowhere it fits, or so it seems

Sometimes I question, is this how growing up is?
To do what you must, and not what you love

But then, I stop and reflect on my thoughts
Life has a way of connecting the dots

Although I am stuck in a crossroad
I know this phase is just an episode

Although I am filled with doubt and pain
They always say rainbows come after the rain

Having faith in His plans is the key
At this moment in time,

I am exactly where I am meant to be.