December 25, 2009

It all comes to this

There are many things.. that i wish i have done differently. Things that i wish i did not say, or things i wish i have not done.

In life, we are are bound to make mistakes and decisions that we will regret later on.. But, as humans, we can only regret it and strive to do better next time. I am not perfect. I have done what most teengers my age have did before. Failed a test, landed in one of the lower positions in class and get screwed by teachers. Never once, did i not regret those things... but as the saying goes, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".

On the 24th December 2009, all the PMR candidates will receive their results in their respective schools. I am one of them. There is no feeling to describe the fear and anxiety you feel as you approach your class teacher handing out the results. As you sit in front of her, and she searches for your paper, you can actually hear your own heart beat loud and clear. The moment when she finds your paper... the feeling is overwhelming. No words can describe it.

As I sat in front of Pn. Hasliza my class teacher, she found my paper and looked at it. For a moment, it was like time stood still for me. I looked around and saw my friends who already received their results jumping for joy. (they all got straight A's). A thousand questions raced through my mind.. What if i don't get straight A's? How would my parents feel? What do i tell eveyone if i don't get good results? Will all my tears, fears and everything i do go to waste? I looked at my father ready in the back with the camera. My heart beat faster.

"Natasha, i'm so sorry.. tak boleh lah.." My heart almost broke when my teacher said that. I couldn't respond except with a confused "Huh?" Then, wait- i saw a catch. My teacher was smiling! She handed out my results.

I'm proud to say.. i got straight A's. So yes, the late night studying till the morning, the Saturdays and Sundays spent studying and the mind-numbing hours spent on revising payed off. Thank you mama for drilling me to study, thank you papa for waking up 6 in the morning during pmr to wish me luck, thank you Lim Ying Yi for nagging me to finish my home work, thank you bang for helping explain things i don't know and thank you to everybody who encourage me during PMR. I love you all so much and i couldn't have done this achievement without you!

The moment i layed me eyes on the string of A's, i gave the LOUDEST AND BIGGEST scream! Seriously, it was very very loud. I wish i could show you the pictures of that day, but Danny deleted them all. =.=" Anyway, not only that, i was so over-joyed that i become kinda loco after that, i jumped and jumped and jumped and hugged everyone!! In the process, bashing my lower lips till in bled.

Yeah, i spilled some on my pmr paper. Still, blood was nothing compared to the joy and happiness you feel achieveing something you want so badly. I'm so happy that all my gang also got straight As!! It kinda doubles the joy celebrating with all your buddies. Congrats to all of you, you know who you are =)

I promise to work harder in eveything i do now. Thank you God for helping me get this results! I have always felt a little bit "second best" in my family compared to my genius brother. Don't get my wrong, i am very proud of him.. but with my PMR result, I finally feel like i've done somthing to be proud of. =)

wao.. i'm so shocked. It still feels like a dream =)

So now, i shall end my post. Kids taking PMR next year, remember this : No pain, no gain. Always put effort in whatever you do! In fact, i must really try and change my lazy-to-study-attitude since i'm gonna form4 next year! o.O Hahahah good luck!



  1. Dik ... congrats on your achievement !This is the reward for all your effort and we are so proud of you !! Just remember - do your best always.

  2. CONGRATS again! :DD everything we worked our asses off for paid off eventually. and yeah, i agree with you. we gotta double up the hardwork and put in tons of effort for next year. meheheh.

    don't worry. if we get to be in the same class, i'll be nagging and nagging and nagging for you to finish your homework tiap-tiap hari. i love being a walking reminder. xD

  3. Darling .... have always known that you are smart. So proud of you! However, don't let it get to your head coz this is just the beginning of a journey. How it turns out will very much depend on yourself!